If I were to ask you to list the five hardest things for you to do in your life on an on going basis how would you answer, what would you say? When I asked that question the other day, here are some answers I got. The raising of a family, being patient, balancing your career with your personal life, staying joyful, not worrying, staying calm under pressure and balancing the finances were mentioned frequently.
There was something that no one mentioned, which I believe is one of the hardest things in our life to develop and to maintain. It will inconvenience us at times, make us mad and demand a lot of our energy and sometimes even our resources. It has been the catalyst for many movies and the inspiration of many authors, and without it we would have a hard time surviving. What is it? It is the making and maintaining of friendships.
I'm not talking about the friends that we invite over for dinner or go out to a movie with, I'm talking about the deeper friendships, the ones we cry with, the kind of friends that we bare our souls to. The kind of friends that you can phone up at 2:00 in the morning and know that they will listen. Lets make it even harder...lets exclude relatives in this instance. How many friends would you be able to fit into that intimate close relationship?
For those of you who will right away take exception to the fact that I excluded relatives and yes that means spouses...Our spouses certainly need to be those kind of friends, but I see no evidence anywhere that deep wholesome friendships should end there.
We were created to have deep meaningful friendships, that transcend the normal superficial level. I believe that our Creator put into us a desire for those relationships and not developing those kinds of friends will not only hurt us but also not give us the fulfilling life we were meant to have.
These kinds of friendships take time, sometimes years to develop and it often means finding time in your schedule, reshuffling your appointments and yes often sacrifice. These are the friends that walk through the dark times with us, laugh and enjoy those high moments of life, and are the ones that will silently put their arms around us when you need it because they know. It's not only about us though, it is also for us to give to others. It takes courage to step out and be that kind of a friend, it will take effort to find ways and places to build those friendships and determination to see those friendships through to the end.
The day will come quickly for all of us when we will need those kind of friends, when we will need those deep relationships, and the day will also come soon enough when we will no longer be able to build those friendships, what's stopping you?
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Just finished reading a couple of good books that I could highly recommend. The first by David Aikman a former senior correspondent for Time Magazine called "Great Souls", and the second the autobiography of Elie Wiesel called "Night".
In David's book Great Souls, he talks about the lives of six people that in his opinion changed the century. Billy Graham by his proclamation of salvation, Mother Teresa by her compassion, Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn by proclaiming truth, Pope John Paul II by his stand for Human Dignity, Elie Wiesel by calling us to remember and Nelson Mandela for his ability to forgive.
Reading the book and reflecting afterward, I asked myself what these six people had in common, and what in their livese enabled them to be such important figures in the last century. All six were diverse in their upbringing, their culture, their religious beliefs as well as in their life experiences. The one word that came to mind was "perseverance". Each and every one of them experienced times in their lives, often over long periods of time where their ability to persevere was their stronghold, their ability to see things through. But it wasn't only their perseverance, it was how they managed to persevere.
Patience, humility and respect are some of the attributes all six of these people displayed throughout their lives in spite of circumstances. Too often nowadays we look at perseverance as a negative, confront it with anger, self pity or doubt, too name a few. How do you face situations that come your way that force you to persevere? How do you make it through those times when every fiber of your being is tested, often over an extended period of time?
Is it your spouse, friends, church or faith that helps you overcome and persevere, helps you to come out of a situation stronger and more confident - ready to once again take on the next challenge that comes your way?
In David's book Great Souls, he talks about the lives of six people that in his opinion changed the century. Billy Graham by his proclamation of salvation, Mother Teresa by her compassion, Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn by proclaiming truth, Pope John Paul II by his stand for Human Dignity, Elie Wiesel by calling us to remember and Nelson Mandela for his ability to forgive.
Reading the book and reflecting afterward, I asked myself what these six people had in common, and what in their livese enabled them to be such important figures in the last century. All six were diverse in their upbringing, their culture, their religious beliefs as well as in their life experiences. The one word that came to mind was "perseverance". Each and every one of them experienced times in their lives, often over long periods of time where their ability to persevere was their stronghold, their ability to see things through. But it wasn't only their perseverance, it was how they managed to persevere.
Patience, humility and respect are some of the attributes all six of these people displayed throughout their lives in spite of circumstances. Too often nowadays we look at perseverance as a negative, confront it with anger, self pity or doubt, too name a few. How do you face situations that come your way that force you to persevere? How do you make it through those times when every fiber of your being is tested, often over an extended period of time?
Is it your spouse, friends, church or faith that helps you overcome and persevere, helps you to come out of a situation stronger and more confident - ready to once again take on the next challenge that comes your way?
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